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That leads you to question his “I love you” in word or deed? Step away from the high school cafeteria table where you once giggled and obsessed about boys. You were learning about the whole relationship boy/girl exchange, but as an adult woman, the only thing you are ever going to get from it is a big fat bruised ego. Insinuating himself into your life and your affections. Show me a “sex accident” and I will recant, but until I am offered proof, I will maintain my disbelief.

If it’s not too soon to have regular “sleep over” dates than it is not too soon to ask questions when you feel that love is in the air and he, for reasons unclear, doesn’t seem to be feeling it too. It’s no different from the divorced guy whose “wife screwed him over” or the never married guy who’s “afraid of commitment because of that girl who dumped him once … The stereotypical guy whose been too hurt to open his heart again routine has rewarded many a man with the cake sans having to bake it for himself. He will not retreat or play “now you see/hear from me and now you don’t” games.

A good number of Google searches bringing readers to this blog lately have been searching for proof that their widower boyfriend loves them. Or are you engaging in the centuries old female pastime of reading between a man’s lines like they were leaves at the bottom of a tea-cup? My advice, and it’s hardly revolutionary, is simply ask. Although I have been told – by widowed folk – that sex just happens because of the loneliness and pain of loss. A widowed man who comes a courting, regardless of where he is in the mythical grief process, is perfectly able to deal with the fallout, the good, the bad and the ugly.

And he will have taken steps – in the words of Captain Picard – to “make it so”.And he has made an effort to be more of a friend to me, be more supportive of my emotional needs (and honestly, I'm rarely needy). how crazy is it that I had to ask in the first place?I'm struggling with how I feel about this summer's vacation plans.By recent I mean that he had lost his wife less than six months prior. At the time, I had sworn off dating and was pretty focused on raising my kids and enjoying the occasional weekend they were with their dad.But I agreed to a *date* under the pretense that this would be dating, no relationship, no happily ever after. So the issue: When we are together, we have a great time. We will have three to four great weeks, then he'll suddenly pull back. Since we've been together, neither of us has dated anyone else and we are viewed by friends and family as a couple.

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